A Beauty Treatment...

Feeling Tense?

On a scale of one to ten
How'd you feel, middle-aged wo-men?
What about a facial to rejuvenate,
To detoxify and exfoliate?
What about a scrub and an algae wrap
All topped off with a relaxing nap?

Oh, pamper me, dampen me,
Rub me with oil.
Splash it all over,
Gimme seaweed and soil.
Oh, sausage me, massage me
In your mud and your cream.
Make me believe
Cellulite's only a dream.
Oh, soothe me and smooth me
- But not that part
You know you'll only
Make me ...
Berate me, hydrate me
Rebalance my skin
Oh Lord forgive me
For I have wind.

How do I feel?
I'm a Bo Derek ten.
My tense is past
I'm Miss Whitehead again.